Elio, Elio Your Lover is a Creep

Call me by your name

Would you describe Call Me by Your Name as a romance movie? Be honest with me. Sure, the setting is beautiful, and who could deny that Italy is one of the most romantic places on earth, but is that enough to label this movie a romance? Sadly, a lot of people would say that it is, they would take their pitchforks and light their fires and come for you if you dare to say differently. Luckily, I am perfectly content with taking a little heat.

Do you know what this movie is about? Because if your answer has anything to do with ‘love’ then you are sorely mistaken. It is about a young man, conflicted about his sexuality falling victim to a much older man. Do you know how old Elio is in this movie? 17, seventeen! and falling for a 24-year-old. Now I do not care how much wine he drinks or how many cigarettes he smokes in the movie he is a young man, a confused young man at that. Attempting to navigate through relationships, both platonic and romantic, sexuality, and so much more.

And who is Oliver? A 24-year-old grown man who apparently revels in flirting with minors and leading them on. A man who knows what he wants, who is calculating, who has a fiancé waiting for him! And not only does he know what he wants, he knows how to get it. Does that sound like love to you? Truly? Does it sound like the type of first love that surely will leave you broken but so much wiser, stronger, and confident in yourself? It does not to me.

My personal vendetta with this film is that it has no regard for how people will perceive it. When I learned about the age gap between the two main characters, I realized that if anything this movie is a cautionary tale. Depicting the common occurrence in the gay community of relationships with large age gaps. I am not here to tell you who you can and cannot date, or that a five-year difference is too much no, I wouldn’t do so. What I will say however, is that a 24-year-old man taking part in a romantic, and sexual relationship with a 17-year-old who has nowhere near his level of experience easily lends itself to an imbalance in power dynamics.

But who could blame the masses, for doodling their little romance ships, when the very movie itself will have you believe that not only is this fine but somehow a tragic love story of two star-crossed lovers. The only person who ever seems to really question Elio and Oliver’s relationship is Marzia, and how does the movie handle her line of questioning? bypulling her and Elio apart and flinging him into Oliver’s arms. Even the parents are perfectly content with this relationship. Does nobody stop to think ‘what could a grown man possibly want with my teen son?” anymore?

The relationship is romanticized to no extent, even as Elio cries to himself at the end of the movie, the scene is beautifully framed, as the soft glow of the fire illuminates him. As if this were a romance. What I gathered from this ending was that it wasn't so much the age gap that was the problem but that they were gay. I’ll remind you that this movie is set in 1983 so the implication here isn’t that Oliver is an adult while Elio is a teenager, no, it’s that society simply isn’t ready to accept their queerness. They would be disappointed to know that in 2024 I still frown down on their relationship.

So, sure the movie is beautiful but, misguided. The repercussions can be seen in how young audiences took to social media to romanticize this relationship. With an outpour of fanfics, edits, and so on. I can’t blame them; it wouldn’t be right. The aesthetics and plot lines of this film were far too captivating for viewers to realize how Oliver was actually taking advantage of Elio instead of falling in love with him.